I had just climbed under my duvet when I caught a glimpse of the new, full moon through the gap between my blinds.

The sight of it, so round, so bright, scarred, yet perfect lured me to my window. If only my camera's battery wasn't dead.

I looked out into the darkness, blindly, at the garden that I knew lay below, thinking about the creatures out there, and no sooner than I had did I hear the now familiar, and that could apply in both senses, hoot of the owl that lives outside my window.

Her shrill hoot always paralyses me with fear.
I moved away from the window back to the safety of my bed.

And here I am. Still listening to the noises of the night.
There's a high-pitched sqeal, and a similar squawk.
More than one.
Calling to each other.

It must be Foxes. The call of a Vixen.

Very eerie indeed.

I've been meaning to write a post about the following topic for quite a while and today's poll by the BBC Asian Network suggesting that almost one third of British Asians don't feel British was the trigger I'd been waiting for.

My first thought as I heard that headline, British Asians Feel They Have To "Act White" To Get Ahead, was, "yeah obviously, what kind of stupid statement is that".
Of course we have to fit in to go places in this country.

But then I started thinking about it in more depth, and that's wrong.

We don't have to "act" anything.

Surely being born and raised in this country, and integrating to the best of our abilities is enough?

And infact, shouldn't being able to juggle two cultures and speak two languages be an advantage?

The trouble is no one realises how hard it was for the East African Asians, facing expulsion or execution, leaving everything behind, possessions and people, and building a new life in a foreign land.

And, while I can't even begin to imagine the struggles of my parents, it's also hard for us British Asians of the new generation.
The ones that were born here.

I have one nationality, British.
And I have one ethnicity, Indian.
But I have two cultures, constantly colliding.

It is difficult to manage these two, sometimes opposing cultures, trying to fit in without being labeled a coconut. And sometimes I'm angered by the fact that no matter how hard I try to integrate, how much I submerge myself in British culture, how little is given in return.

Over 30 years East African Asians have been in this country and only just now are British Asian Role Models beginning to emerge.

Amir Khan. Monty Panesar. And not that many more.

But still, my particular love, music, remains unrepresented.

Okay, so M.I.A's huge underground, but Jay Sean's fierce attempts to break into the mainstream failed, and no British Asian has been able to do it since.

Stolen was an amazing track, and he's so talented. Dare I say it, I bet if he'd been White or Black things would have been different.

This reminds me of a previous post I wrote defending one of my favourite bands Hadouken!, on the topic of culture clashes and racism in the music industry.

One particular lyric of theirs stands out because I felt it applied so well to me,

"I'm an indie limey, yeah but I like it grimey",

except that it doesn't really does it. I'm not a limey. And the industry is just black and white. There is nothing for us Asians. Yet. God knows why, because there's certainly a market for them.

I know of quite a few British Asians working really hard to break it into the industry, and it's time they got some recognition.


Sunit & Raxstar




Out Of Africa - a BBC Asian Network special report

My new bank card finally came today, which means I can now buy the 250gig MyBook I'm needing off Amazon.

My babytop, as much as I love it, is full with songs, videos, and course stuff so I'm hoping to transfer everything over to the MyBook, including the 40gigs worth of stuff from my iRiver H340, which will then be made pretty much redundant.

I cant wait to get all my media together in one place and organised, and am looking forward to building up a little library of all my stuff.

And talking about organisation, thanks to YouTube and Blogger, I can keep adding to my play-list there, and it will be updated here, so I can have a little VideoPlayer on my blog.

Wicked.